En Francais SVP

Tonight I had the joy of going to my eleven year old cousins class production of a modern day 'Romeo and Juliet'. The class had been studying the middle east and the conflicts there..and as such they took a rather interesting slant on Romeo and Juliet with the whole idea of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict..Generally it went very well, they acted and worked their little butts off and I really enjoyed myself..even though the entire production was 'en francais' and my french is..well..weak! I understood enough to get by, and I did know at least a vague outline of the play..so that helped! It was really nice though, to be a part (even if only a small audience member part) of something that these cousins are a part of. For so many reasons there always seem to always be reason that we don't interact as much as I would like...so it was really refreshing to have the chance to go to something of theirs and see them..and I know that J was really happy that I was there and was BEAMING when I told her that I really liked the show and that I thought her acting was awesome (which it so rightly..was!) So on just the surface, I enjoyed myself immensely..but then as I am sitting here..I'm thinking about all of the effort that went into making this show successful. It's an amazing amount of work..the play is adapted by the teacher in charge..depending on the students and the resources and yadda yadda. They have a million and one props that are hand made, borrowed, bought or pled for...sets which are hand painted..lines which are rehearsed over and over again..and a million other minute details that are done. And as I was standing there tonight, I realized how much time, effort, love and patience has gone into this production..and how worth it it was to these kids..the fact that they brought this to life..was just..amazing..and it was all because they had an amazing teacher to help them and guide them into where they needed to be so that they could reach the potential they have.. It really hit home for me then..even though I didn't understand every single word, even though there were those little 'oops' moments where someone goofed...forgot a line or the wrong song played..they were all insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Those kids aren't going to remember the nitty gritty details of their math lesson or their english lesson..but they'll always remember putting together this grand production, working as a team and accomplishing something that they're incredibly proud of. It reinstilled in me what I want to be as a teacher, what I NEED to be as a teacher. I had become so worn down by all of the people who are out there..doing what they do simply for the paycheck, not for the love of it. Not because they really CARE. Teaching is about caring..teaching is about making a difference..and that's what this teacher did for his students..he gave them tools, resources and a way to become confident in their abilities to not only showcase themselves, but also to work together as a cohesive team. You could tell by the looks on those kids faces that they WORSHIPED him..because he respected them and cared enough to put his heart and soul into doing something meaningful for those kids. That's the kind of teacher I'm aiming to be..that's what I've always wanted to be..it's those moments when it suddenly hits you...that the smiles on those kids faces as they took their final bow..that is why I want to do more, to be more..they're why I want to make a difference. The language barrier may have been there..but when it came down to it..it language itself was relatively insignificant. Me being there wasn't REALLY about the play, sure on one level it was..but seeing what amazing teachers can do when they put their heart and soul into something..that's what I feel as though I was meant to see..to know that it really can and does happen..and that I cannot let myself be discouraged and that with a little (a lot?) of strength..I can eventually become the teacher I want to be..and do an amazing job doing it. Faith in the teaching profession is on the path to restoration..now all I need to do is find my place, my niche, on that path..one step at a time :)

Crazy Crazy

I often joke (mostly out of extreme fear) about becoming the 'crazy cat lady'. You know, the obscure one who lives alone with only her cats to keep her company. As much as I love cats, and especially MY own cats..this fear is something that drives me insane! I'm one of those people that most often, likes to be surrounded by people. As much as I know that this is my own conscious decision, and I can always choose to have lots of friends and family around me..I dunno..there is something about that old 'crazy cat lady' idea that nags at the back of my mind.

That said, I really do love my cats. They're the cutest of cute little things..and they really do have their own little personalities and funny little quirks. We've always had cats in the house as I was growing up..but right now we have FOUR in our house..and that's the most we've ever had and they're all quite wonderful lovely cats...I often find myself referring to them almost as though they're not pets, but children..and that's partly where my fear of turning into a crazy cat lady comes into view..haha!

Spot is the baby of the cats, and a dainty little princess..who always wants to get her way. She doesn't really like to go outside that much, unless the weather is absolutely PERFECT. She is skittish and doesn't take to new people well..she likes certain people and always wants attention from them..but anything new or noisy scares her. She has this funny little meow and will use it to get your attention if she needs you for something or wants something. She's extremely tiny in stature, and is the only of the cats whose weight doesn't fluctuate a lot..she stays at her regular 5ish pounds. My Dad calls her the 'neurotic' one...but in the end, everyone loves her. Sometimes the other cats pick on her or tease her, but then ten minutes later they'll be outside teaching her how to hunt chipmunks, or making sure that she has her turn at the food bowl, or just cuddled up on someones bed with her..they all look out for her and it's rather cute :)

If Spot is the baby of the cat family, then Callie is DEFINITELY the Mom. She's pretty easy going, nothing really bothers her..and she doesn't generally make a fuss about anything. If you move her from where she's sleeping..that's fine..if she gets a treat, that's fine..if not..eh..she'll be fine. She likes to keep the peace between the other cats, and has been found in the middle of a typical 'cat fight', on no ones side..simply trying to get the others to stop fighting about whatever they happen to be fighting about. She'll bathe Spot in the afternoon soon, and keep the 'guys' company when they're outside hunting..and just generally goes with the flow.

The king of our current cats is Tucker. He's the typical alpha male. Callie and Tucker are twins and look almost identical, especially in the summer when they weigh the same. The only difference really is that Tuck has a little more white under his chin and on his belly, and he has broken his tail, so it actually makes them quite easy to tell apart now..but when they were little..it was virtually impossible...but that's a cute story for another time! Anywho, Tuck likes to be the hunter and the protector and he's the boss of the rest of the cats. He really does take care of everyone..at night he'll make sure that all of the rest of the cats are inside before he settles down..one time Spot was outside and there was a thunderstorm and he came back to the house, meowed at the door until someone came to let him and then wouldn't come in, yet wouldn't stop meowing until we followed him outside to where Spot was hiding from the storm so that we could get her and bring her home. Tucker enjoys eating cheese, but only certain types of cheese..and it's as though he has 'cheese radar' as he can be ANYWHERE in the house and you take a certain type of cheese out of the fridge and he comes RUNNING. Take out a different kind and eh, he could care less..he'll just go on with his normal everyday routine. He generally enjoys little treats, but cheese and crackers with my dad is his favourite..and the reason why he gets so fat in the winter! Once spring comes though, he's rarely inside during the day and really only eats what he catches, which means he gets pretty thin, pretty fast..he has more fun hunting and climbing trees and running around than coming inside to eat dry old boring cat food.

Our latest addition to our cat clan is Mr. Grey. Unlike the rest of our tabbys, he's..well..Grey. He came to us this scrawny little imp, and has slowly but surely found his place here (and managed to get the cat equivilent of a beer belly). He is tough..he's not scared of anything, not at all skitterish and will strut around like he owns the place..which I honestly sometimes thinks that he does! I like to describe him as that crazy old uncle that everyone has in their family. The one that is always around and always THERE..but no one really knows WHY he's there or WHAT he's doing..or even how he fits into the picture..yet they love him regardless. He's the grumpy old man sitting in the background..who really has the kind heart when it comes down to it.

So those are a few of my pets..the cats of the family. I love them all so, they all have such individual personalities..and I wouldn't give them up for the world..even if it means that I'm slowly but surely turning into the 'crazy cat lady' that I fear being :P

Tipsy Turvy

The older I get, the more complicated life seems to get.

Take for instance when I was four. Lifes complications were HUGE to me then, but looking back on them..they were a piece of cake. Sometimes they were quite LITERALLY cake. How exactly do you manage to convince mom that leftover birthday cake IS an acceptable breakfast food? That was a big problem that my four year old mind had to work through. Other big problems involved deciding whether I wanted to play at the sand table OR the water table. Or sometimes the major deli ma's in my life surrounded which colour I wanted to put on my paint brush to create my latest master piece...red, blue or should I REALLY spice things up, mix them together and get a snazzy shade of purple!? Oh the problems of my four year old existence.

Now things seems to get more and more complicated the older I get..and I'm constantly torn between things...and I have no idea even where to start...No matter what I do in my life..I constantly feel as though something else is suffering. If I spend a lot of time with friends..I feel as though I should be spending more time with family..but then I feel as though I don't see my friends enough...and then I'm racked with guilt because I want to spend TONS of time with EVERYONE..but I just can't seem to figure out how to balance everything out. If I'm not working..I feel guilty because there are so many things that NEED to be done..but then if I'm at work I feel as though it would be lovely to just be able to spend some ME time..I feel guilty either way! I have no idea what I'm doing next year..I feel as though I want to just get up, pack up some things and leave..but I feel guilty leaving everyone and everything behind..there are things that are tying me here..which most people have not even the slightest idea what these things mean to me..but yet, they do tie me here..and it's hard to leave them, even if it is only temporarily.

I don't know what to do anymore..I feel as though no matter what I do..something is suffering, something or someone is being let down..and it's starting to wear me down. Life is like a rather tipsy turvy boat that's constantly changing directions every time I look up, and even sometimes when I'm not looking at all. What it all comes down to is the need for balance..the need for some sort of semblance that makes sense of everything...the only problem is..I have no idea where or how to start making sense of anything...or making decisions of any kind. I'm rather bad at decisions..especially these big life altering ones.

The decisions now are so overwhelming that my mind just wants to go back to being four...and be able to make those 'tough' four year old decisions once again. Just in case you hadn't figured out the answers to my four year old self's problems..the answers go a little like this:

A) You always make purple..because when you're four..purple is a fun 'girl' colour...which means 'pretty pictures'
B) The water table means you get to splish splash, thus it reigns supreme over the sand table.
C) When you're four and adorable, you simply need to bat your eyes, stick out your lower lip with a slight tremble and tell Daddy that Mommy won't let you have cake but you MUST have it for breakfast.

And then suddenly you have it, the answers to all of lifes pertinent questions.

Ah, if only life were ACTUALLY that simple.

Babysitting Escapades

Wow! So this week has FLOWN by..I honestly don't even know where to start. I keep coming home and then being about to write some sort of a post of one of the million things that I've been THINKING about writing..but then either start and don't finish or just never really start at all.

I think that it's one of my downfalls of blogging..when I actually do have something exciting to post about or something that I want to record because I've been thinking about it and it has been on my mind..I'm less likely to write about it or feel as though I can write about it because I'm out DOING it and living life and don't really have time..and then when I am at home I feel much more lethargic and dopey and don't really take the time to sit down and write as much as I would like to..because I'm tired or doing other things that need to be done.

So anyways. I've decided that I'm taking today off from doing work work..I might get around to some later in the day..but it's not really looking like it's going to happen. It's one of those not so productive days..which comes from a semi productive week..I've been on the go lately..just constantly. Working at my job..which I enjoy but sometimes find difficult because I'm working on my own and am trying to organize and get everything ready before we open...there is just so much to do that sometimes it's rather overwhelming. And then to top it off..I've been babysitting at night on top of that..which is lovely and wonderful..but draining as well.

I happen to be the regular babysitter of two of the most lovely and adorable kids who have ever existed..they make me beyond happy. Whenever I have the chance to babysit them I enjoy myself SO much. They have such amazing imaginations and ideas and love to come up with new games and tell me what they've learned lately and just be silly and goofy. We play many games and it takes me back to my own childhood..They enjoy things like 'What time is it Mr. Wolf' or "Red Light, Green Light" of COURSE..but we also can often be found playing 'Pirates' (We build a 'ship' in the living room out of chairs and couch cushions and any other sort of materials we can find) and then ward off attacks from other ships as we try to find treasure that is hidden on random islands that we come across in our travels. The kiddlets have also taken to playing 'Safari' which involves us going on dangerous missions to rescue animals and then sometimes having to have helicopters come and get us because we're lost in the middle of the rain forest. After playing a combination of some of these games..we'll go for a bike ride or a walk or play on the trampoline or do something fun outside to get rid of their energy..come inside and have some fruit (or if I'm feeling extra nice..some ice cream) for a snack and then suddenly it's bath time and bedtime for Q2 and Q1 is allowed to watch TV for half and hour while I read stories to Q2 before it's Q1's turn to have a bath, be read to and tucked in. This past week Q2 has taken to procrastinating even more than usual before bed..but I'm a total sucker for reading to kids and she KNOWS it..so she always ends up getting too many stories..but then she's been asking to be sung to before I leave the room..so I sit on the edge of her bed singing her songs that my parents use to sing to me and rubbing her back until she's on the verge of falling asleep before I go and find Q1 and get him ready for bed..

It's a rather enjoyable experience...albeit exhausting at times..they make me beyond happy..just to watch them and seeing them come up with amazing ideas and thoughts and silly things that make everyone giggle. Even if I wasn't being paid to babysit..I don't think that I'd really care..the money thing isn't really why I do things..sure, it's nice..but if I didn't enjoy it..I wouldn't be doing it. When it's fun and enlightening and fills your heart with happiness..that's when you know it's something that you should be doing. And now I think that I'm going to climb back into bed, read my book and continue on with my lazy LAZY day. If only the weather would warm up so that I could have a lazy day in the sunshine! Ah..now that would REALLY fill my heart with happiness!

Friend Families

Lately I've had the pleasure to start hanging out with some of my best friends siblings. Now, you have to understand that I LOVE my best friends to bits..and I love their families..and despite not knowing their siblings THAT well, I already love them by association. It's so funny..because as I become older the more I realize that the people I'm closest with, the friends I hold dearest to my heart..are the people whose families are most similar to my own. We all share similar values and beliefs and morals..and I think that is part of the reason why we all get along so well. Once you add in additional siblings and cousins and other members of the family who also share these similar views..you end up with this fun group of people who are all so similar to you and who you get along with quite wonderfully..which is..AWESOME!

This last year, one of my best friends (For the purpose of this blog..we shall call her [the best friend] Nannon) sisters (Said sister of the best friend has requested that her nickname be spelt with an ie when she was informed that I was going to write a blog about her..haha! So I present to you..the sister of Nannon..Hammie.) moved from her hometown to this lovely little town. She lived in residence, made lots of new friends and had a generally quite wonderful first year at Hippie U...from what I've heard at least! She's now moved in with Nannon..and thus comes as one of those built in friends. Despite being a few years younger than us, she's quite lovely and wonderful to hang out with. We've had the pleasure of having LOTS of hangouts this past week..and it makes me happy to have her around for the summer to keep me company. I really enjoy when random friendships such as this one just..appear. It's not necessary to TRY very hard at them, you already have things in common with them and it's another person who you can laugh with and have silly inside jokes with....and just have an all around good time with. It's nice that we can just hang out so easily without really even KNOWING each other that well..and are quickly becoming good friends!

This past weekend brought many siblings and family members of some of my best friends into the same realm as each other..and I love them all dearly. We can laugh for hours, go out and be silly, or just sit around talking...all the while having a quite lovely time. My friends are some of the dearest people in the world...and I wouldn't change them for anything...and I really don't feel like I need much more in life as long as I have them in my life...But then add to that the fact that I not only have have AMAZING best friends who I love to bits, who take me as I am and who know me better than myself..but within the package of their loveliness I also get an extended family...that's more than I could ever ask for! Within their families are people who love me, care about me and are generally beyond amazing...so not only do I have best friends..but I have best friend families..who encompass all of the best parts of said best friends..in large groups of wonderful people!

So yes, I've decided that I'm quite happy that Hammie has moved north and has joined our cute and quaint little friend family..she's a wonderful addition!

And, as a bonus..I no longer am the baby of the group of friends! Our Hammie now has that distinction of being the youngest...SCORE!

Little Miss..

As I've been reading Shop Girls* blog I've noticed that her family has a lot of little inside jokes, sayings and other such cute stories. They're rather adoreable to read about..so I thought I would share a story of my own family that I happened to remember the other day.

I have one brother, who happens to be EXACTLY 2 years, 4 months and 14 hours younger than me. (Why I know this, I don't really know. Actually, I just figured it out....Wow..I'm a little bit of a loser today) So anyways, he's slightly younger than me..which means that he started out school slightly after me. (Makes sense eh? Younger child starting school after older child :P)

I have to explain that this particular stories takes place way back in the days when kindergarten was only half days..and you either went for the mornings or you went for the afternoons. Thus, since we were country kids, we were bussed home at noon, or picked up everyday at noon and taken to school.

During my brothers first stint at school, he came home with many stories...Things that they were doing, new friends, new experiences, etc. Although he wasn't a talkative child in public..he could be quite the talker in the quiet of our own home..so he would come home talking about this or that or various different things that had happened.

So one day he came home and ran off the bus, excited as could be to tell my parents that they had a new bus driver..

And then he dropped the bomb shell. When they asked what her name was he exclaimed.."HER NAME IS MISS PIGGY!!!!!!!!!!"

So of course, my parents laughed and titterd..because that clearly couldn't be her name, even though he was INSISTENT that it WAS her name. In my six and a half year old glory, I become irrationally jealous that he had a muppet for a bus driver. It was days later before I finally saw her and realized that she wasn't ACTUALLY a muppet...which was actually QUITE a disappointing blow for a six year old..

But not quite as disappointing as it was for my brother when my parents finally inquired about the name of the new bus driver..

..Turns out that she'd told the kids to call her Miss. Peggy.

Ah the joys of four year olds and their inability to tell the difference between i's and e's :)

Living Things

Today was spent being not nearly productive in any way, shape or form. But I'm okay with that. I have this secret love of taking pictures..but I'm not good at it at all..I feel as though it's one of those things that can be learnt and developed..to a degree..but I also think that it takes natural talent..like a lot of things in life. I wish that I could take better photos..and have been considering for quite some time taking a course to learn about various important things to do with photography..Light, angles, etc. etc. But alas..Until recently..I've been a broke student who has no access to a decent camera and no access to funds for lessons, let alone a camera that would allow me to further this dream. So today I bring you my collect of random walking around photos..Which do disclose my identity quite a lot if you know me or have ever been to my house! Giant leaps away from anonymity I say!

I shall entitle this collection..Living Things. Enjoy!

New life - Just planted. Only a few days in the ground - a newbie!

Life attempting to poke its way through the bush

Rocks are not living. But the people who piled them here were.

This tree has been living a long time..and has the character to prove it.

Le puppy is living! And he will probably use that ginormous tongue of his to attempt to eat OTHER living things.

Although without leaves it looks as though it's not living..it really is.

Hiding amongst it's non-living friends..a living thing makes an appearance. Can you spot it? ;)

The sprinkler gives living things a refreshing drink.

A tree that looks as though it really is living!

Flowers are living..they mean spring has sprung.

A new life for young blueberry plants.
The barn is not living! But look closer, and you shall see that the vines growing on it are infact living.

The maple tree is living. So is the young family in the distance.

Weeds are living, but what pray tell is living inside the pipeline?

The trellis is not living. But it is made of things that use to be living..and is a home for many living plants in the months to come.

The footprints were made by living things. This is also the home to grass seed, which will soon be living.

Rhubard is living. Which makes me happy, because soon it will be living in my belly, in the form of rhubarb pie.

This truck is no longer living, but it once led a glorious live life filled with many an adventure.

My brother killed my old bicycle, ending its life as a normal bike. He then proceeded to preform life saving surgery, added a lawn motor engine..and revived it to be a living vehicle once again. Albeit a scary living vehicle which lacks any form of brakes.


Living things need water, like these clouds will bring.

They also need sun, which pokes its head out from behind the clouds.

The puppy is living.

My shoe that he has stolen on the other hand..

..He has ensured that it is dead. Good and dead.




The cherry tree is living and will make many a bird happy and full and help them to live once it gives us yet another lovely bout of cherries this summer.

Wake Up Slow..

I'm not one of those people who can just sleep until noon. When my alarm goes off..I either wake up in a daze, press snooze and fall back to sleep until the alarm goes off again..or I'm awake and ready to start the day. Once I'm awake..I'm awake..and I figure I might as well get up and get going..if I lie in bed any longer I'll just fall back asleep and never get going..

But lately I've had late starts..which of course means that I don't get to bed very early..but that's okay..because I don't need to get up nearly as early as I have been..

So today my alarm went off..and I drowsily hit the snooze button a few times..

I've now physically MOVED my alarm clock to the other side of the bedroom because if it's on my night table I hit it while I'm still half asleep and have been known to turn it off while still half asleep and then never wake up and be late..whoops! So I have to ACTUALLY sit up, get out of bed, put my feet on the cold floor (which is a rather rude awakening in itself) and walk (leap?) a few steps before I can reach the snooze button. Because the weather lately has been rather chilly..the last few steps of my hitting the snooze button has included bolting back to my bed, jumping under the covers and snuggling back into whatever dream I had been having.

But this morning...by about the fourth time..I hit the silly alarm..and then jumped back into bed..I was awake. Okay, so not REALLY awake. But semi awake...and even before the snooze button could go off again..I was drifting in and out of consciousness..but instead of just either forcing myself to close my eyes and capture a few more minutes of precious sleep, or forcing myself to get up and get started with my day..I just sort of lay there. The air in the room was frigidly cold with this ridiculous weather we've been having..and I could hear the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof..but I was deliciously warm and comfortable snuggled up in my blankets..

As I lay there..the alarm now turned off, just waking up slowly..I came to the conclusion that THAT is one of the BEST ways to wake up. To drift back and forth between awake and asleep..to wake up rested and refreshed..not forcing yourself to get out of bed..but slowly climitizing yourself to the day and allowing yourself to wake up slowly and enjoy waking up..instead of it being a chore.

And now instead of feeling tired and worn out..I'm awake, rested and ready to go. I'm excited to start my day..I feel refreshed..like today is really going to be a GOOD day. WOOHOO!

It doesn't hurt that it's Friday...which means WEEKEND!!! YAAAAAAAY!

Bitter..Cynical..Hopeful?

I'm honestly beginning to believe that procrastination is my middle name.

Anonymous Procrastinator McOnymous.

That's ACTUALLY my name folks. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. Okay, so I am. But just a LITTLE. :P I've been so bad at updating in any shape or form lately. And you don't even want to know what I do with my spare time..I literally just sit here and am a zombie. I play random computer games..listen to music..read..and sometimes watch tv. I need to get off my butt and actually do something productive..although I did have a quite exciting day today! Although the excitement falls into that 'I can't talk about it because it pertains to my real life sort of life'..and thus anonymity becomes an issue. But let's just say..it was a rather large stepping stone, I was given immense amounts of responsiblity and it was surreal to say the least. WHOA!

So ANYWAYS. School is done. Mostly. I'm just going this silly little bit of practicum and then I'm freee! I'm excited for it to be summer..although we had SNOW the other day..so I don't really know how close summer is. Yes, you heard me correctly..we had SNOW. Mother nature is one cruel and unusual lady. The temperatures soar into the mid twenties..and now I freeze at night because we're hitting 0 degrees. Actually 0. Since when is that even allowed to happen in APRIL..let alone MAY.

Which brings me to my next topic. How the bloody hell is it MAY already?! Honestly! The year is just flying by and I have NO idea how it's happening! I think that I say that every year..and probably say it at the beginning of every month (well, not that it's MAY..because that would just be silly..but I say 'How in the world is it (fill in the month) already!?') I really just want to have a fun and exciting summer..and I'm hoping that it'll work out. I hope that work isn't too stressful (although it usually ends up being far more stressful than I ever could have imagined..ugh!) and that there isn't too much drama (ha..ha..here's to hoping!) and that it can just be a peaceful, relaxing, FUN summer. That's all I want.

Well, I lie. I want a lot of things...there is always something else that I want..chocolate..a nice boy..world peace..they all fit in there on my wants and desires list somewhere.

Speaking of boys..I'm fairly convinced that this town is severely lacking in nice, available boys. There are some who are nice and lovely..but taken. Then there are the ones who are nice and available..but not interested in girls what-so-ever...and then there are the ones who ARE available..but are mostly only looking to be jerks and find girls go home with after the bar. Any ones who are nice, available and interested in girls..seem to be snapped up before you know it..and it's rather frustrating..which is yet another reason why I feel the need to leave this town. That, and when everyone knows each other or is related to each other..it gets rather awkward when you're like..ooh..right..I remember you..you're my third cousin. Awkwaaaaaard. My grandmother would actually go through my yearbook when I was in high school and point out the people that I was related to and try to give me a family tree history. It was then that I decided that anyone from my hometown who I was interested had to go through the 'grandma detection' to ensure a lack of family ties..especially if they were from around the area..the ones who had been transplanted from other larger cities..I wasn't too worried about..but luckily it's usually the locals that sketch me out the most anyways. Most of the time..it's a generalization..but that's life.

I think my problem is that I just have this perfect little idea of the perfect boy for me stuck in my head..and as much as I know that it may not exist..I at least want SOME of the qualities that said imaginary boy holds...I'm not really willing to compromise on certain things..and I don't think that I should..I don't think that anyone should.

The real problem is that I'm this little romantic deep down inside. Really, not even far from the surface..because I am definitely the emotional sucker/sap/etc. and always have been. I want this little fairy tale..but not even really the fairy tale..I just want something half decent..although I would take the fairytale in a heartbeat. LOL! I know that it's silly to want that..and I know that I've probably been brainwashed by millions of stereotypes and false images that don't REALLY exist..or if they do are few and far between..and even then..cannot be perfect...because NOTHING is really ever perfect. And I know that relationships, especially the good ones take mounds and mounds of work and effort..but there is still a part of me that longs for a nice boy..someone who even if it's not a fairy tale..treats you like you are a princess..in the littlest of ways..just doing nice things for the sake of doing nice things. Someone who cares about the little things and listens and is there..I don't care about chocolate or flowers or being rescued from an evil fire breathing dragons (but extra points to a boy if he DOES)..I just want a nice boy who comes home and kisses me hello and asks how my day was..

In all reality..I want someone who I can travel with..and have fun and crazy adventures with. Someone who will push me to be the person I want to be..but will hold my hand and jump with me when I need them to. I want someone who doesn't care that the dishes are always done 10 minutes after every meal..and I want someone who comes home and builds forts with the kids in the living room..I want someone who enjoys going for a walk after dinner..and doesn't mind getting up early on a Saturday to go take someone to ballet lessons or hockey games or make an extra stop on the way home because I forgot to get balloons for a birthday party. I want someone who remembers that I don't like to eat cooked carrots..and every now and then has to be reminded that the phone bill is due..I want to have someone who I can sit and talk with for hours..just talking about silly ridiculous random stuff. I want someone who I can collapse with on the couch after a long week and drink a bottle of wine with and pass out with on the couch with..only to realize 12 hours later that sleeping on the couch all night is never as good as an idea as it seemed at the time. Someone who will dance with me..even if he doesn't know how to dance..and someone who isn't afraid to say what needs to be said. I want that house filled with kids who slide across wooden floors in their sock feet..filled with neighbourhood kids who always seem to come out of the woodwork. I want a dog, a cat and probably a hamster because someone HAD to have them for their birthday or they'd just die...because everyone ELSE in their class got a hamster. I want lazy summer days in the backyard..vacations to cottages and the east coast...days where everyone is home sick because we keep passing each other silly colds..and a kitchen that makes the best cookies in the neighbourhood.

I guess my idea of perfection is this little cliche life. I want the good stuff..but I kind of want the not so good stuff as well..I want this little life filled with the good and the bad..because it's always the bad that makes the good that much better...and that all starts out with finding a nice boy. Which, as I've previously discussed..does not seem to exist within the confines of this quaint little town. Even most people I know who have FOUND nice boys and exist with said boys here..have had their boys relocate from other areas. Le SIGH. Oh well..I'll just go on being my little hopeless romantic..who has all of these dreams about her so called perfect little life. Actually. Strike that. I'm not a hopeless romantic..I may be becoming bitter and cynical..but there is still hope that someday I'll find some sort of my perfect little dream life. I don't care if I get it all..Life always has a different direction and a different path in which it can lead..it never goes the way that you expect it to..but it usually has a funny way of working out..so I'm not a hopeless romantic..If I do say so myself..I'd like to believe that I'm a hopeful romantic. Maybe. We'll see how much longer I can hold out on that front ;)