Five Dollar Bills

Yesterday I had to go out and get a few items from one of those big, annoying box stores. It was just easiest to do this..and although I'm not so much a fan of these corporate mizzle pazzle places..(and have been severely trying to restrict my purchases from said places) I found myself upon their doorstep yesterday afternoon.

Anyways, I quickly entered the store..managed to find the few specific items that I was looking for..and probably another one or two that I wasn't looking for..and struggled through seas of screaming children and random 'four in the afternoon' shoppers to find my way to a checkout.

After quickly glancing up and down at the different registers I decided that it just wasn't worth it to wait in line for the convience of having someone else bag my few items and say that oh so scripted 'Hello, how are you today' with absolutely no enthusiasm in their voice what-so-ever. So I got in line for one of those pesky little self checkout things that more often than not beep every two seconds..and waited. And waited. And then I waited some more.

Finally it was my turn to scan my purchases and (hopefully!) be on my merry way to bigger and better destinations. Alas, the woman who was in front of me was taking longer than most people would..especially since she had already completed her purchase and was supposed to have moved on. (You of course can tell this by the annoying green flashing light above the self checkout station). Well it seemed upon closer inspection that the machine had decided to yell random things at her. It was telling her to 'take her change' (She had paid by credit card..thus..no change?) and that she needed to take her receipt (which she hadn't done because the machine had been yelling at her to take her change, of which, there was non and shouldn't have been any). So finally, she starts to walk off in a daze, and I run up to her and hand her the receipt, which she has still forgotten. I then go on my merry way ringing in my purchases and bagging them. I pay quickly and while I'm waiting for *my* receipt to print, I notice a crisp five dollar bill sitting in the change bay of the checkout.

I look around..slightly confused as to who this belongs to. I didn't really KNOW what to do...did I take it, shove it in my purse and forget about it? Surely not. I'm not one of those people that can just forget about something like that and not feel ridiculously guilty. Did I hand it in to the guy overseeing the checkouts? He would likely only pocket the money and not feel guilty in the least. Did I try to find the woman who had been before me in hopes that I could catch her and return her five dollars which had evidentally been the change that the machine had been yelling at her to take? But she had moved on well before this point and was likely already in her car and about to leave..So did I just leave it for some unsuspecting customer who followed me to take and shove in their purse/wallet/other random money holding device? I was at a loss for what to do..

After a brief hesitation, and a glaring look from the next lady in line as the green light above me had started to flash and I still hadn't removed my receipt or moved out of the way, I quickly scooped up the bill, grabbed my receipt and proceeded out of the store.

As I made my way through yet again more throngs of people, I wondered what I was going to do..the woman was surely in her car by now..and really...it was only five dollars..it wasn't as though I had found a particularly large sum of money that anyone would REALLY miss THAT terribly. But yet, I still felt extremely guilty..I didn't really know what to do..the comfort came when I decided that if I didn't see the woman on my walk to the car, I would find someone who needed the money and give it to them instead. So I walked out of the store feeling slightly less guilty..and scanned the parking lot looking for any glimpse of the woman who had been in front of me...when low and behold..I spotted her!

I quickly beelined over to her and explained that the machine had been trying to give her change and that I had found the five dollars and wanted to return it to her. She looked at me peculiarly and said that she couldn't imagine anyone ever returning money that they had found..let alone an amount so small and relatively insignificant. She said that it restored her faith in people to know that there were people in the world who still thought of others before themselves and that it gave her hope for the future.

We talked for another few seconds and like a flash, I was back into my own world heading on my merry way...her words still lingering in my head. I cannot imagine a world where people don't care for each other..but maybe that is because I simply do not operate that way...It's just not how I am...whether it be five dollars or five hundred dollars..that is not the issue. It's the reasoning behind it...it's the moral and ethical issues that play such a major role in determining who we are...and the person who I want to be is the person who is honest, trustworthy and someone who cares about other people in whatever way possible...whether it be a smile, five dollars or a simple have a nice day. When it all boils down to it..it's the little things that matter most. It's the little things that have the most opportunity to change the world..not only can you piece them together to create a tidal wave of change..but you can inspire someone else to be a better person, to pay it forward..simply by setting the example.

So as I left, I realized that maybe just this once..the big box store wasn't so bad. It had taught me a lesson about myself and the person I want to be..and I hope to believe that I inspired someone else to think about their actions and the example they want to set for someone else..but I still felt guilty as I had already partially earmarked that five dollars for someone who I decided desperately needed it as a way to ease my conscience. As I pondered this at a red light..I made another rash decision and took out an old crinkled five dollar bill, stuck it in the back of my wallet where I hide all of my receipts and other daily junk. I silently decided to keep it for the next rainy day when I came across someone down on their luck needs a helping hand up...in hopes of perhaps inspiring them to do whatever they could to pay it forward in whatever way they can. It's not like it was a large sum of money..but in most cases like these..I don't think that it's always the money that matters. To me, the money is just money..I'll never notice a simple five dollar bill missing from my current wallet..I'm not nearly that careful with my money that I would...but it was the statement behind the money..the thought that someone actually cares enough to reach out in whatever way possible...even if it's only a few dollars. I hadn't even given anyone the money..yet the simple act of giving, even in theory, inspired me so much that I've challenged myself to a new sort of challenge..whether it be five dollars, five minutes or five seconds...I'm challenging myself to do something small, each and every day..to help someone..to show someone I care..to try and make a difference in the lives of others..and hopefully inspire others to try to do the same..without even knowing it. Who knows..maybe those two five dollar bills can change the world. You never know...it could happen.